doubled_speed | For Wearingthestars

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For Wearingthestars

I wish I wasn't alone.

The words were whispered from inside the relative safety of the tiny closet in Tommy Shepherd's bedroom in Springfield, New Jersey. Whispered because there was no way that he wanted Frank or Mary, fighting in the living room, shouting and screaming, to hear them.

I wish I wasn't alone.

Repeated as Tommy held his hands out before him in the darkness palms up. He put as much conviction behind them as he put into anything he said starting with those two words. He had found rather quickly that whatever this power of his was, it came more readily when he framed it as a wish.

I wish I wasn't alone.

He repeated a third time. Three times always seemed to be the right amount when it came to willfully using his power. Even now he could see the faint green glow of energy radiating from his hands, trying to catch his words and shape them into whate he was asking for. At school he didn't always need it three times. He could feel the energy building in his gut like a tidal wave and crashing over him when he wished the bullies would leave him alone, or that he'd actually gotten a good grade so Mary wouldn't yell at him, or that the shirt that got torn up and bloody was clean so Frank wouldn't hit him for wasting good clothes.

Now, though, the words didn't seem to catch, and after a moment of held breath, the energy faded back, leaving behind only the briefest flash of sparks and static that he had to shake out of his hands. Apparently even magic, or whatever this was, couldn't help him.

It was a stupid wish, anyway, Tommy realized as he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. And then, of course, he flinched at the sound of a breaking plate. They were getting bad tonight. He didn't want to be alone, not with them shouting like that. Sometimes it turned into Frank driving off to drink. Sometimes Mary stormed to their room and locked the door, leaving Frank on the couch. The former tended to mean Frank not coming home at all that night, and when he did the next day he smelled like booze and some other woman's perfume. The latter tended to mean Tommy couldn't sneak some breakfast in the kitchen before school, or being caught if he tried and he really didn't want to be on the receiving end of Frank's belt.

“Dammit. All I wanted was someone to talk to.”

He feels the rush of power even as he feels his body go limp and the world go dark around him. It’s a strange mix between a sneeze and passing out. When the sensation passes things are weird. For one thing, he can’t feel his body. There isn’t the cold of his room or the rough drag of his scratchy wool sweater that is too small for him or even the gnawing in his belly. No, there is just the swelling feeling of his magic, a prickly energy across his skin, and this place.

This new place is nicer than his room. There is more space. There are nerdy decorations on the wall. There are no cracks anywhere or dents from fists or broken furniture. He hates seeing how much nicer this place is than his home. But he is more interested in why his magic brought him here. And in the soft green light everything around him seems bathed in. Tommy raises his hand, or maybe just the concept of a hand, and is faced with the scary truth. His whole body is green and transparent. Okay. That is a bit weirder than normal.

Welcome, Tommy Shepherd, to the world of astral projection. And Billy Kaplan? Meet the strange, glowing ghostly boy in your room.

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There isn't an answer other than doing his best to try and keep Teddy out of the foster system.

Tommy's back soon, a towel for his hair, and one around his waist.

"Showers are n ice."

Teddy and Tommy both. Maybe his parents will take both of them in. Though that might mean moving at this point.

Billy's had some time to compose himself by the time Tommy's back, eyes a bit red still, but he smiles easily, offering up some pjs, having all ready changed himself.

"You still hungry?"

Pajamas? Tommy hasn’t ever worn any. But he does pull them on because they are offered. And hey, comfortable.

“Yeah. I could still eat a little.”

Becaus ehe isn’t sure he won’t be sent back in the morning.

Billy looks away again to offer privacy.

"Well, I do believe we were promised desert then, whenever you wanna do that. Oh, and here-" he offers up a brush while he remembers, "And remind me later, I can find you a toothbrush, I didn't think about that before."

Privacy? What is that? But he does take the brush and runs it through his hair.

“I can probably magic a brush.”

"Yeah, I guess compared to everything else you've done a brush isn't all that hard, huh?" Billy flushes and nods.

"There probably isn't much you can't do."

Tommy shrugs. "It's... about wanting it. I've wanted all I've done until now."

How much will he want a toothbrush?

Billy smiles faintly, glad that he's part of what Tommy wants. It's such a strange power. He can't imagine what it'd be like to have that at his fingertips. What he might be tempted to use it for.

"I don't think I could handle it if it was me."

Really? Of them, Billy was the good person. The person who was happy.

“It is more than want I think. I have to be able to visualize it. So I could never, you know, make my parents love me.”

Hilariously, that spell had fizzled for their reasons. First: the Kaplan’s were his parents. And they’d always loved him.

Wincing, Billy tries not to let that look live too long on his face. But it's hard after hearing something like that.

"...You did...in a way," he offers uncertainly, meaning the Kaplans. Normally he'd reassure him that of course the Shepherd's loved him, but...given what he knows about them...Tommy might be right.

“You’re really buying this hospital mixup thing?” Tommy asks, voice soft. “Because seems bs.”

He wants it to be true so bad.

"Mom knew about your birthmark. And...it makes a whole lot more sense that we're twins than that were were born looking completely identical by accident," Billy insists.

Wait what? Tommy is left staring in shock. Looking alike is one thing. Losing a twin is another. Recognizing a birthmark? Tommy's hand goes to his side and he frowns.

"I... I want to believe it's true, Billy. But you're literally the one good thing that's happens to me and that seems impossible."

Billy nods pointedly. He'd left out that detail earlier, but more solid proof seems necessary now.

"Well...we'll find out soon enough. But...even if we're not related by blood, it's not like we're just tossing you out on the street. You're basically a Kaplan now. So long as you want to be."

"I don't want to be a replacement for a kid they don't have," Tommy says. And his voice definitely has a sharp edge to it. He doesn't want to be taken in because they want someone else. Billy can't get how much that would hurt.

"You're not...you wouldn't be. That's just...what they would want. They like you. They like...taking care of people. They're probably going to try and do the same with Teddy."

Honestly, he's surprised his parents don't have a whole house of rescued children by now.

Yeah, that really doesn't sound likely. No one likes him. Hell, Tommy could already tell that most of Billy's team didn't like him. But, you know, Vision had been looking at them strangely after everything. Still, that isn't important. Whatever.

"They don't know me, Billy. They don't know anything about me."

"They know I like you." Which is fact he hopes Tommy won't be able to refute this time, face sincere. "And you've made a pretty good impression."

Why would Tommy refute that. He knows Billy likes him. They're connected. he... He reaches his hand up, and it glows with magic.

"Give me your hand for a second. I think... Let me try something."

Because he has to see if Billy can feel it too. He THINKS he can probably drag Billy to an astral level with him. Maybe?

That sort of request might have earned a brief moment of trepidation from anyone else, but from Tommy, Billy moves to accept without hesitation, reaching for the glowing hand with a curious lilt of his head.

"What are you going to do?"

"I want... to be sure I'm not crazy about something."

The trust, though? That's really nice. Knowing someone can trust him like this.

It's not the most descriptive answer, but Billy nods, taking his hand regardless. "...Okay."

"Just be quiet. This... could take some focus when I'm not doing it as a straight spell, okay?"

Tommy closes his eyes and focuses on centering his breathing. His heart actually slows down, quite a bit, and then he's pulling with his mind and that swell of force deep inside that he knows is magic. Pulling from himself, and he knows it's working because he can feel that tingle of right, of belonging that he always felt when he touched Billy while projecting himself to the other. But the question, of course, is whether he's managed to pull Billy with him.

"..." He nods, pressing his lips together, watching Tommy in silence before allowing his eyes to fall closed as well.

He's not sure what he's meant to feel or see, if the feeling that starts to come over him is real or imagined, something like a shiver running through him.

"Tommy?" he asks uncertainly.

"I'm going to say this and it's going to sound weird," Tommy says, eyes still closed as he tries to focus on the spell, which he can feel is getting away from him. "Your astral form, or whatever, needs to lose some weight. It's all... shivery. Like energy put into too small of a box."

He's definitely tempted to give up. IT doesn't matter. Even if he does want a moment to enjoy the feeling.

"I'll stop if you need."

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