For Wearingthestars

[doubled_speed]

I wish I wasn't alone.

The words were whispered from inside the relative safety of the tiny closet in Tommy Shepherd's bedroom in Springfield, New Jersey. Whispered because there was no way that he wanted Frank or Mary, fighting in the living room, shouting and screaming, to hear them.

I wish I wasn't alone.

Repeated as Tommy held his hands out before him in the darkness palms up. He put as much conviction behind them as he put into anything he said starting with those two words. He had found rather quickly that whatever this power of his was, it came more readily when he framed it as a wish.

I wish I wasn't alone.

He repeated a third time. Three times always seemed to be the right amount when it came to willfully using his power. Even now he could see the faint green glow of energy radiating from his hands, trying to catch his words and shape them into whate he was asking for. At school he didn't always need it three times. He could feel the energy building in his gut like a tidal wave and crashing over him when he wished the bullies would leave him alone, or that he'd actually gotten a good grade so Mary wouldn't yell at him, or that the shirt that got torn up and bloody was clean so Frank wouldn't hit him for wasting good clothes.

Now, though, the words didn't seem to catch, and after a moment of held breath, the energy faded back, leaving behind only the briefest flash of sparks and static that he had to shake out of his hands. Apparently even magic, or whatever this was, couldn't help him.

It was a stupid wish, anyway, Tommy realized as he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. And then, of course, he flinched at the sound of a breaking plate. They were getting bad tonight. He didn't want to be alone, not with them shouting like that. Sometimes it turned into Frank driving off to drink. Sometimes Mary stormed to their room and locked the door, leaving Frank on the couch. The former tended to mean Frank not coming home at all that night, and when he did the next day he smelled like booze and some other woman's perfume. The latter tended to mean Tommy couldn't sneak some breakfast in the kitchen before school, or being caught if he tried and he really didn't want to be on the receiving end of Frank's belt.

“Dammit. All I wanted was someone to talk to.”

He feels the rush of power even as he feels his body go limp and the world go dark around him. It’s a strange mix between a sneeze and passing out. When the sensation passes things are weird. For one thing, he can’t feel his body. There isn’t the cold of his room or the rough drag of his scratchy wool sweater that is too small for him or even the gnawing in his belly. No, there is just the swelling feeling of his magic, a prickly energy across his skin, and this place.

This new place is nicer than his room. There is more space. There are nerdy decorations on the wall. There are no cracks anywhere or dents from fists or broken furniture. He hates seeing how much nicer this place is than his home. But he is more interested in why his magic brought him here. And in the soft green light everything around him seems bathed in. Tommy raises his hand, or maybe just the concept of a hand, and is faced with the scary truth. His whole body is green and transparent. Okay. That is a bit weirder than normal.

Welcome, Tommy Shepherd, to the world of astral projection. And Billy Kaplan? Meet the strange, glowing ghostly boy in your room.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

"Whatever, she's not really wrong about me. But you're not a freak like me," Tommy grumbles. And he looks... frustrated more than anything.

[wearingthestars]

"I'm exactly as much a freak as you," Billy reminds, trying for a teasing sort of smile, and he tries to pull Tommy into a hug. "...I'd rather be like you then her any day, Tommy."

[doubled_speed]

"Frank would be worse," Tommy whispers, letting himself be hugged. Don't let go, even if he isn't hugging back just yet.

[wearingthestars]

Tommy doesn't pull away, so Billy takes that as permission enough for now, and strokes his hair in the same way his mother does for him, hiding his frown at Tommy's words. "Then they didn't deserve you."

[doubled_speed]

Oh, the hand in his hair definitely is... That's nice. Tommy's eyes close and he leans into that touch, soaking it up, the affection too.

"They didn't want me. Deserve doesn't matter."

[wearingthestars]

"...I want you." He knows that's not the same. It can't make up for the hurt of what his family's done, and continues to do, but it's important to say.

[doubled_speed]

Tommy doesn't snap out. Doesn't demand to know why Billy replaced him then. Not Billy's fault. Billy hadn't remembered Tommy because Tommy had made the decision.

"You want me because you think I might be your brother."

[wearingthestars]

"I wanted you before that too. You're my friend." And maybe brother. Maybe more than brother. But even when he was just a phantom figure that popped into his life, Billy wanted him.

[doubled_speed]

Perhaps that was why the magic had carried him to Billy. Why it chose Billy to make him feel less alone.

"Idiot. I'm a terrible friend."

[wearingthestars]

Billy snorts softly, and gives him an extra squeeze. "Yeah, well, I haven't had a ton, so you're good enough for me," he teases lightly, "...Really though, I don't know that any of my friends who have been selfless enough to erase themselves to try and protect me."

[doubled_speed]

That...

"I didn't want you ending up in jail. Or outed as what you are. I was just trying to..."

Help. Protect. Just like Billy said. Was it selfless? Or did he just wanted someone out there whose life wasn't ruined by touching his?

"You didn't deserve to suffer for my existence."

[wearingthestars]

"Tommy, all you've done is make my life better. In every way. I know you might not believe that, but I promise you, it's true. You were there for me. And I really needed you." They needed each other.

[doubled_speed]

"I... thanks," Tommy sighs, and finally his own arms wrap around Billy. Because that's what he needs to do. Just hug the guy for a moment.

[wearingthestars]

Billy lets out a relieved breath when those arms finally wrap around him, and he doesn't let go for a good long time.

"We'll be okay," he promises, tying their outcome together rather than just assuring Tommy that he'll be all right.

[doubled_speed]

"We will?"

What a question. Pointless, because the guy is clearly going to say yes, but he wants to hear it.

[wearingthestars]

"Yes. I promise. We will." And Billy means it with every fiber of his being. He's going to do everything in his power to make sure they overcome whatever else the world tries to throw at them.

[doubled_speed]

"We should... I wanna go back to the Kaplan's place. I don't want to be here anymore," Tommy hisses, pulling back from Billy.

[wearingthestars]

"Mmm-" Billy frowns, understanding Tommy's desire, but Cap will be wanting to know where they are. And Teddy's still back there...waiting.

"We could go back to the Avenger's. Wait for Cap to find his way back..."

[doubled_speed]

Cap... wasn't going to get back without them. Dammit. But Tommy doesn't want to go back there.

"I could... stay here. And you could bring him here?"

[wearingthestars]

Billy looks about, really observing where he's brought them for the first time. He doesn't know the area well, but it seems to be safe; he's stopped them near a park, and no one looks too unfriendly.

"...You're sure you'd be okay?" It would take a matter of seconds, but Billy doesn't especially want to leave Tommy alone right now.

[doubled_speed]

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Tommy promises. "This park is only a mile from home. Worst comes to worst, I can walk back to the house from here. I know the way."

[wearingthestars]

Billy continues to frown, but eventually he gives a reluctant nod. "...Okay. But I'll be right. Even if something goes wrong somehow, I'll come back."

[doubled_speed]

Someone who wants to come back for him. That's sorta... unexpected. And interesting. And he likes it.

"I'll wait right here. Don't let her bait you."

[wearingthestars]

"Don't go anywhere." Billy gives him a parting smile, and then, in a flash, he's gone, speeding back to the house, and coming to a stop abruptly by Cap's side as though he'd never left.

"What'd I miss?"

we totally need to figure out what Billy would have named himself as a hero

[doubled_speed]

"You're back," Captain America observes, and he's trying to downplay that he's actually a touch shocked by that. For all that he was used to this sort of thing from Quicksilver back in the day he wasn't as prepared for Billy to be doing the same thing. "You missed Mrs. Shepherd saying a few unkind things. Which I'm glad you missed. I'm guessing Tommy is somewhere safe?"