The Revival Project - IC Inbox

[doubled_speed]

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[playingtough]

Seeing the bit of light in Tommy's bright emerald eyes, hearing the chuckle, gets a blink of a smile from Billy. He doesn't dwell on the pet name, or how it sends a little thrill up his spine at it.

"Okay," he whispers, shifting a hand to hold onto Tommy's fully and let it hang between them rather than at his face. It's easier to walk now since he doesn't have to work around other feet and legs. "I tried to message. I'm not good at it."

He needed help, like he tried to call someone when he was in the phone-booth before it all happened.

[doubled_speed]

It's a good smile, even if it's just there for the briefest moment. Means Tommy's getting through the haze of fear.

And if he's honest, he wasn't expecting the full on hand holding to really go through. Or the soft whisper of agreement. It's.. Nice. It feels right. His own heart starts beating hummingbird quick but he does his best to hide it as he walks slowly forward. And is very glad he swept but didn't mop the floors tonight. No making this guy slip if he could help it.

"You're not. We can work on that, so I can get to you faster. But not tonight. Tonight there's going to give you some good hot chocolate from the cocoa powder Max made sure I had for emergencies."

This was multiple sleepless nights he was helping people through with it. Damn smart kid. But he'll applaud her for that later. For now he lightly holds Billy's hand and determinedly fills the air between them with chatter to keep Billy grounded.

"So I'll get the Bantha milk, tastes basically the same, and slowly heat it. You've got to be slow with milk, otherwise you scald the fat and it burns onto the pot. It's horrible. So we'll heat it slowly, adding powder as we go. I'll whisk it in slowly until it all breaks down. Then, when it's starting to heat but not steam, I will sprinkle in cinnamon. Keep stirring slowly until steam starts to rise off of the pot. That's when we take it off of the heat and slowly pour it into the cup. After that you give it one last sprinkle of cinnamon on top and it's ready to go."

[playingtough]

The hand holding is grounding, Billy finds. Keeps him tethered instead of letting his mind wander back into the darkness. His hand holds Tommy seemingly carefully - like he's afraid of holding on too tight.

He follows like someone sleepwalking, listening to Tommy rattle off what he was going to do for hot chocolate. What was a Bantha? "You gonna make one for you?" is the only question that comes from all that, as they shuffle out of the dining area and into the kitchen. He remembers sitting in here with Chrissy during the portals ordeal, when Billy could barely handle it. Gladio had brought him to the diner initially, too. To be safe until he was ready to face everything else.

"I shouldn't have woken you up."

[doubled_speed]

Tommy would tighten that grip, but he doesn't feel like it's his place. He doesn't want Billy to feel trapped. The guy needs to be free to break away whenever he wants to.

"Not sure yet, man. Hot chocolate is nice, but I'm working on testing out this new fruit and mint tea, so I might make that for me."

Because he's still trying to get the proportions right before he offers it up to the people that really like it, like Jon.

He guides them slowly back into the kitchen, turning on every light he passes on the way. Once they reach the kitchen Billy speaks up and Tommy stops to smile.

"You really should have. Always wake me up, okay? Most people are assholes who don't get to interrupt my beauty sleep. You're one of very few exceptions if the world isn't ending."

[playingtough]

The grip is fine - not too firm and not too loose. Just holding Tommy’s hand like a link to reality. That hand feels a bit clammy now, a little on the cold side. Going by the experience of the shower, Billy didn’t do well with the cold. Probably why he asked for hot chocolate.

Blue eyes blink at each new light burning away the darkness and the rats until they’re in the kitchen. Once in, he goes over to the stove. "You want me to get the pot out? Or find a whisk?" Could he help somehow? Even if it feels like Billy doesn’t want to let go of that hand yet.

[doubled_speed]

Sometimes you need an anchor. No shame in that.

As for the question, well, does he? Tommy doesn't think so. It seems so... frivolous.

"May I let your hand go for a second? Only a second. That's all I'll need to get everything."

[playingtough]

Billy was learning that this kind of behavior was okay. He does feel shame about it, but it’s not as suffocating as it once was. The threads of abuse he and Max talked about were loosening and untangling slowly.

"Only if you don’t leave the room, okay?" Billy looks almost scared of the prospect of Tommy leaving him alone, even for a second. It didn’t take long for bad things to happen after all. The grip he has on Tommy’s hand starts to loosen, add as though giving permission for the question asked.

[doubled_speed]

"I'd never dream of leaving your side, Sunshine."

He gives Billy's fingers a light squeeze. There won't even be time for the warmth to leave Billy's hand before there are things rattling on the counter by the stove. A pot. Milk. Measuring things. A tin of cocoa powder. Mugs. Cinnamon. A whisk. And Tommy's hand is already in Billy's.

"There we are. You ready to make hot chocolate?"

[playingtough]

There’s a squeeze to his hand. His heart swoops in his chest, and it’s enough of a distraction while Tommy gets the supplies needed. In a blink. All the supplies are there and Tommy’s hand slots back to his. It fits. Like their hands are made for one another.

Billy tries really hard not to think about that.

Billy fails at not thinking about that.

He gives a answering squeeze and a nod. "Yeah. We can make tea for you, too."

[doubled_speed]

Tommy grins at the squeeze and turns the stove on before putting the pot over it.

"I will, after I've got you taken care of, Sunshine. You're my priority right now."

And that's really all that matters.

[playingtough]

Billy follows to the stove and stands next to Tommy while the pot heats. Their hands still being held, Billy leans his head against Tommy’s shoulder to watch.

"Weird being someone’s priority, Daisy Dukes." He rubs his scruffy cheek against that firm shoulder before settling again. "Glad I’m yours though. Gets me some hot chocolate at least." It’s meant to be a joke, even with his sluggish sounding voice.

[doubled_speed]

"You're definitely top two," Tommy agrees, smiling as he pours the milk in. "You know, it's okay to just accept it. To not joke about someone caring about you. It can be accepted in happiness and warm silence."

Because he wants Billy to get used to things like this. To be used to being cared for.

[playingtough]

Billy wonders who the top one is, then figured it’s probably his brother. The magic Billy. There’s a grumbling noise at being told he can accept being cared about. Tommy clearly did, because no one else planned a birthday like the one he got.

It had been the best day ever so far.

"Didn’t say I wasn’t accepting it, just that it’s still weird." Billy thinks about pinning Tommy against the beach. The way his heart thumped in his chest in a way it never had before. The way the world fell away to just be the speedster under him with the roar of the ocean next to them and the slamming of his heart in his chest.

No, don’t think about that right now. Don’t ruin shit.

"I had a nightmare. 'Bout the night I got possessed. Rats everywhere, damaging my car. I tried to get to a phone booth, tried to call for help. Late. Too late. Then I got pulled down, down where no one could find or see me."

[doubled_speed]

Of course it's his brother. A Maximoff Speedster and their Witch are a pair in many ways. One might be physics and the other metaphysics, but they are bonded in a strange way.

"If you want, we can put a panic button on your communication device. One that pairs with your location. So if you're ever in trouble, I can come running."

Again he squeezes Billy's hand. Has to do it that way because he's using the other one to stir.

[playingtough]

"A panic button? I don’t want everyone to know about it though. It’s why I tried to message you." Because he had been back in that phone booth with hands shaking so bad he couldn’t type right. The words had been stuck.

"Maybe Max should know to. What if you’re not here?"

What if you leave me?
His hand holds a little tighter, as if Tommy would leave in this moment.

[doubled_speed]

"We can find someone I trust to make it, just for you."

He'd have to go to Tony. Who would probably tease him, but it would be fair. Because Tommy couldn't deny the hummingbird rush of his heart when he'd seen Billy. When he'd been scared for the man.

"We'll let her know too if you want. But I'll be there."

He hopes.

"Don't you trust me?"

[playingtough]

"No one like that here. Maybe you, you fixed my Walkman." Billy won’t forget that anytime soon. Definitely a kindness he didn’t think he had deserved after the volcano ordeal. But Tommy still had done it, time after time, proving that the Californian deserved kindness just s as much as anyone else.

He cleared his throat. "I trust you. But I’ve trusted others before and they’ve left me." Now he thinks of his mom, leaving him for her own safety. He supposes now that maybe she couldn’t take him with her.

"I can tell Max. So it’s not always on you. Cause maybe you’ll be helping Kaplan or maybe off in space. Maybe helping other people that are having a harder time than someone dreaming about rats and black abysses."

[doubled_speed]

"I trust Tony Stark, and he does good work. If I needed someone to fix something for me, I'd go to him. And I learned some of what I did watching him."

He was only able to repair the tape player because of Tony. Though it was awkward that Tony was one of those who thought Tommy should make a move on Hargrove. At least Tommy was certain Billy wouldn't return attention in that way.

"I know what you mean," Tommy says. "I've been there. My folks, both sets. My brother from time to time. Even the men and women I've loved. Abandonment is... it's a hard thing to get over. Trusting is hard to do. Every day I find myself a little scared for getting close to you, because except for my brother, people leave when I get attached."

And it's not like Billy has something good to go back to.

He does snort in amusement over the idea of someone having a harder time than with PTSD. There were plenty of heroes here for rescues. Including his brother. And his brother had a supersoldier boyfriend(?) to help him with issues sometimes.

"Honestly, I've sort of turned into the Hawkins High School Late Night Hero. Spent last night talking with Harrington when he couldn't sleep. The night before it was this Chrissy chick. We've both a bit freaked about stuff, so I made her cocoa too. You'd like her, if you don't know her. Really sweet and pretty. Probably all sorts your type."

Yes, he is absolutely going to wingman for his best friend. That's... what is right to do.

[playingtough]

Well if Tommy Stark is who taught Tommy, maybe he could be trusted for this then. He doesn’t remark on it again though.

"Is that what it’s called? Abandonment? I didn’t really know it had a name. It’s shitty that both sets of your parents left you, because you deserve better than that." Anyone that could give someone like the blond a chance like Tommy did always deserve better than what they’re life gave them, especially if people kept leaving him.

Right. Tommy really was bisexual, like Max. There’s a fleeting thought wondering if Tommy could love him too, but Billy knows that won’t work - Tommy was a superhero and d deserved better than someone with a reputation like Hargrove had. So he shoved the feelings down to try and ignore them.

Chrissy is good; we’ve met up a couple of times. Once during the portal thing here in the diner kitchen, and that night she sent out her message on the network. We went for a walk." He huffs and holds that hand a little tighter. "She’s sweet but not my type. Too…clean. If that makes sense." Chrissy isn’t of course, but compared to someone like Billy it was more believable to think that.

[doubled_speed]

"Billy's mom, she's a shrink. With a specialization in children and teens. We may have had a few... conversations over the years."

So yeah, he knows what his problem is, thanks. But that doesn't make it any easier sometimes.

"My parents are a bit more complicated than merely 'leaving', but they aren't there for me, so that qualifies."

Still, he needs to move past that. He's not supposed to get into his shit tonight.

"That must have been before she came over for cocoa then. And... I guess now I'm curious as to what your type is. You know, so I can keep an eye open for you. In case you need someone pointed out."

[playingtough]

"Gross." It’s out before he can stop the word, and he tenses with some regret. Therapy isn’t in his cards -or so Billy would like to think. Maybe the therapy was the not-boyfriend and friends he made along the way. He rubs his cheek against Tommy’s shoulder again, but doesn’t lift it. He’s comfortable.

The blond is about to remark about the parents thing again, but something about how Tommy shifts back into talking about Chrissy and cocoa is enough to tell him no. "Athletic with actual music taste, and personality that gets along with Max."

[doubled_speed]

Dude, he doesn't even mind that Billy thinks therapy is weird. It took the longest time for Tommy to agree to it. And it's not for all folks. Though it's probably for Billy if he ever gets his chance.

Tommy's fingers fumble the whisk he's been stirring cocoa powder in with for a moment. Because fuck, man, that sounds like him. Except he doubts he has musical taste in Billy's eyes. But he is athletic, he gets on like a fucking fire with Max, and then there's the whole affection he's getting. That he doubts anyone else does.

Takes him a moment to master his hand so he can stir without troubles.

"Well, we don't have a lot of chicks around so that's going to be a tall order."

[playingtough]

It is weird. He’s not going. There’s no one here he would ever want to talk to about anything like that, except maybe Max. Only because that’s what siblings do.

He misses his Tommy’s hand fumbles after he admits his type. Billy didn’t lie, since it was the same thing he told Eddie when he brought cake. That head lifts just as he notices Tommy fumbling, and then goes right back in its spot when he continues. "I’m not in a rush. I’m…I’m pretty happy right now."

Because he was allowed to admit that right? He was happy right now, even if he couldn’t admit to Tommy why. The speedster made him happy, and helped him feel seen.

[doubled_speed]

"Yeah," Tommy says, his voice a whisper. A nervous one.

"I am too."

And that's... weird. It's not the normal order of things. First night since the door to the stasis beds was broken open that he didn't, well, hate everything. Or himself. He feels centered.

It's Billy's fault, and he knows it.

"Pass me the cup, okay?"

[playingtough]

I am too.

Billy relaxes a little more, his head a weight on Tommy's shoulder and his hand still not leaving the other. This feels right and Billy kept trying to deny it from himself. Becuase he didn't feel like he was worth Tommy's time like that, that he still had more growing to do before he was worthwhile for that. For l——

Billy can't even think it.

He focuses on the sweet scent of chocolate and cinnamon, making it and Tommy a shield in his thoughts against the darkness of his possession. Finally he reaches over to pick up the cup and pass it over gently.

"I knew coming here would be the best idea."