doubled_speed | For Wearingthestars

I wish I wasn't alone.

The words were whispered from inside the relative safety of the tiny closet in Tommy Shepherd's bedroom in Springfield, New Jersey. Whispered because there was no way that he wanted Frank or Mary, fighting in the living room, shouting and screaming, to hear them.

I wish I wasn't alone.

Repeated as Tommy held his hands out before him in the darkness palms up. He put as much conviction behind them as he put into anything he said starting with those two words. He had found rather quickly that whatever this power of his was, it came more readily when he framed it as a wish.

I wish I wasn't alone.

He repeated a third time. Three times always seemed to be the right amount when it came to willfully using his power. Even now he could see the faint green glow of energy radiating from his hands, trying to catch his words and shape them into whate he was asking for. At school he didn't always need it three times. He could feel the energy building in his gut like a tidal wave and crashing over him when he wished the bullies would leave him alone, or that he'd actually gotten a good grade so Mary wouldn't yell at him, or that the shirt that got torn up and bloody was clean so Frank wouldn't hit him for wasting good clothes.

Now, though, the words didn't seem to catch, and after a moment of held breath, the energy faded back, leaving behind only the briefest flash of sparks and static that he had to shake out of his hands. Apparently even magic, or whatever this was, couldn't help him.

It was a stupid wish, anyway, Tommy realized as he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. And then, of course, he flinched at the sound of a breaking plate. They were getting bad tonight. He didn't want to be alone, not with them shouting like that. Sometimes it turned into Frank driving off to drink. Sometimes Mary stormed to their room and locked the door, leaving Frank on the couch. The former tended to mean Frank not coming home at all that night, and when he did the next day he smelled like booze and some other woman's perfume. The latter tended to mean Tommy couldn't sneak some breakfast in the kitchen before school, or being caught if he tried and he really didn't want to be on the receiving end of Frank's belt.

“Dammit. All I wanted was someone to talk to.”

He feels the rush of power even as he feels his body go limp and the world go dark around him. It’s a strange mix between a sneeze and passing out. When the sensation passes things are weird. For one thing, he can’t feel his body. There isn’t the cold of his room or the rough drag of his scratchy wool sweater that is too small for him or even the gnawing in his belly. No, there is just the swelling feeling of his magic, a prickly energy across his skin, and this place.

This new place is nicer than his room. There is more space. There are nerdy decorations on the wall. There are no cracks anywhere or dents from fists or broken furniture. He hates seeing how much nicer this place is than his home. But he is more interested in why his magic brought him here. And in the soft green light everything around him seems bathed in. Tommy raises his hand, or maybe just the concept of a hand, and is faced with the scary truth. His whole body is green and transparent. Okay. That is a bit weirder than normal.

Welcome, Tommy Shepherd, to the world of astral projection. And Billy Kaplan? Meet the strange, glowing ghostly boy in your room.

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From:

wearingthestars

"You're not bad," Billy defends, though he's not about to extend that same defense to Tommy's parents, brow creased with worry as Tommy paces. He's never seen him quite so upset, and he eyes the crackling with an unsure expression.

"None of this is your fault, Tommy. Please. Let me help you."

From:

doubled_speed

"What in the world do you think you're going to do, Billy?" Tommy snaps, whirling on him. "You've got a perfect life as far as I can see. Parents who love you. Money. Siblings. Probably have a nice school and girls crushing on you. Seems your only fucking flaw is your lack of confidence in yourself. And that you're a coward. But that's stupid. What do you have to really be afraid of?!"

Anger isn't fair. He knows it isn't fair. But he's hurting, and he's scared. He's hurting and scared and he can't see a way out of this.

From:

wearingthestars

Billy flinches, not quite able to keep the hurt from his face, and he glances away, courage particularity lacking now that he's been called out on it. And then there's the guilt he's felt practically since he first met Tommy, for how different their lives are.

"I'll...come find you," he presses, sounding a good deal less certain, "You can come here..."

From:

doubled_speed

"If you think that, you're an idiot," Tommy grumbles. He needs an idealist, but this? This is too much. "You'd literally be kidnapping me."

From:

wearingthestars

"They hit you," Billy argues, fists clenching. And that's hardly the first time or way they've hurt him.

"You don't have to go back to that."

From:

doubled_speed

Tommy turns away, unable to look at Billy at that accusation.

"They're the only family I have," Tommy counters. "They're the only thing I have at all."

Which is what Billy doesn't get. When this is what it's always been, when this is all you have and you have been told there is no way out of it, when you hear it enough to believe it... When it starts as a kid and your teachers and adults never believe you about anything... You just accept it.

From:

wearingthestars

"I know they're family, but that doesn't mean they're all you have. It doesn't mean you have to let them hurt you."

He knows how it must sound coming from him. He's been blessed, what does he know about any of this? "I just want you to be safe, Tommy."

From:

doubled_speed

"You don't know me, Billy!"

He just wants to lash out, to avoid all of this. And the answer is leaving. But he can't leave. He's scared. He's so scared.

"We've talked maybe four times. I'm not you project, rich boy."

From:

wearingthestars

Billy's most immediate reaction is a some what defensive expression, pulse jumping and fluttering far too quick inside his chest.

"I'm n- I'm just trying to help you." Something he seems woefully unprepared to do, wishing he had his mother's skill for this sort of thing. "I care about you-"

From:

doubled_speed

"You don't KNOW me!" Tommy snaps, and with a burst of sparks he's gone. Completely gone.

Another failed night of connection. It takes an hour for Tommy, but in time he does manage to teleport himself back home. It's miserable. All of this is miserable. But that doesn't mean Tommy isn't back the next evening.

Back and waiting for Billy, still looking bad.

From:

wearingthestars

It went about as poorly as it could have gone, and Billy feels worse for the fact that he seeks out his parents in his distress. They make him feel better, but he doesn't share what it is that has him so upset.

He's not in his room when Tommy first appears. The stuffed rabbit is sitting on Billy's bed, as though he's been sleeping with it, and when Billy appears, hair damp from the shower, he looks surprised to find Tommy there. He hesitates in the doorway for a moment, before offering a small, uncertain sort of smile.

"...Hey."

Tommy still doesn't look good. But Billy pointedly doesn't mention anything about that.

From:

doubled_speed

For a long moment Tommy stares at Billy, head tilted and frowning. And he has to wonder...

"Dude, do you lift or something? Because seriously, you're sorta really fit for a nerd."

Some mutations have all the luck.

From:

wearingthestars

"..." Billy snorts, shaking his head, cheeks a bit flush. "It goes with the speed." He most certainly does not lift.

Still, it's a little awkward after yesterday, and Billy clearly seems a bit unsure how to proceed, if he should just carry on pretending it never happened.

From:

doubled_speed

"So fucking rude. You get to be the buff guy and I'm the one who doesn't know if I'm getting dinner tonight," Tommy sighs. "So... if I wanted to do something... what would I do?"

From:

wearingthestars

Billy frowns with concern, and that feeling of guilt settles back over him.

"...How do you mean?" he clarifies, not wanting to overstep again.

From:

doubled_speed

"If I wanted to get away. How do I do i? Without, yanno, being a runaway that the cops will just take back there?"

Okay, so there is a lot he needs to do. Damn. He's had time to think, okay?

From:

wearingthestars

There's a rush of relief, and Billy nods, thinking through everything he's studied so far.

"If you don't want them to take you back you need to report what's happening. My mom helps with situations like this sometimes, I can ask her to help if you want. Or- if there's someone else you trust. And then social services can investigate, and make sure you're safe."

From:

doubled_speed

"You're the only one I trust."

And there's the problem. He doesn't trust anyone. There isn't anyone he can even go to? Billy's mom is totally impossible because, like, seriously? How do they explain this.

From:

wearingthestars

It makes it that much more difficult. Billy'll have a hard time reporting on behalf of someone he's never officially met.

"Right, okay, um...I can get you the numbers to call. And I can come out there if you want someone to be with you. I think that's the best way if you want to avoid the runaway thing, but- I mean, if it's super bad, I can help you get out of there, and we can figure it out from there."

From:

doubled_speed

"But how are you even supposed to get out here?"

Because that requires telling his mom as well. And he can't be there all the time. And then he'll have to go into the foster care system. That will be a mess. It will all be terrible.

From:

wearingthestars

"Either the conventional way, or I run." It's not a perfect plan, he knows. It's messy and scary, and he can understand any apprehension Tommy may have. This is his family, for better or worse.

"...there's also emancipation."

From:

doubled_speed

"Speed doesn’t mean endurance. You could get hurt. And what is Lincoln freeing the slaves got to do with anything?"

From:

wearingthestars

"I don't have to do it in a straight shot or anything, but...it's doable." More so for him at least than your average teenager.

"No, not-" he laughs softly, "Not that emancipation. It's a legal process. Like...divorcing your parents. So you are legally independent, despite being underage."

From:

doubled_speed

Who the hell is going to let a teen do that? No one. That is who.

"Seems fake. But I guess i’m Not in a position to research. Will you help me look into it?”