For Wearingthestars

[doubled_speed]

I wish I wasn't alone.

The words were whispered from inside the relative safety of the tiny closet in Tommy Shepherd's bedroom in Springfield, New Jersey. Whispered because there was no way that he wanted Frank or Mary, fighting in the living room, shouting and screaming, to hear them.

I wish I wasn't alone.

Repeated as Tommy held his hands out before him in the darkness palms up. He put as much conviction behind them as he put into anything he said starting with those two words. He had found rather quickly that whatever this power of his was, it came more readily when he framed it as a wish.

I wish I wasn't alone.

He repeated a third time. Three times always seemed to be the right amount when it came to willfully using his power. Even now he could see the faint green glow of energy radiating from his hands, trying to catch his words and shape them into whate he was asking for. At school he didn't always need it three times. He could feel the energy building in his gut like a tidal wave and crashing over him when he wished the bullies would leave him alone, or that he'd actually gotten a good grade so Mary wouldn't yell at him, or that the shirt that got torn up and bloody was clean so Frank wouldn't hit him for wasting good clothes.

Now, though, the words didn't seem to catch, and after a moment of held breath, the energy faded back, leaving behind only the briefest flash of sparks and static that he had to shake out of his hands. Apparently even magic, or whatever this was, couldn't help him.

It was a stupid wish, anyway, Tommy realized as he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. And then, of course, he flinched at the sound of a breaking plate. They were getting bad tonight. He didn't want to be alone, not with them shouting like that. Sometimes it turned into Frank driving off to drink. Sometimes Mary stormed to their room and locked the door, leaving Frank on the couch. The former tended to mean Frank not coming home at all that night, and when he did the next day he smelled like booze and some other woman's perfume. The latter tended to mean Tommy couldn't sneak some breakfast in the kitchen before school, or being caught if he tried and he really didn't want to be on the receiving end of Frank's belt.

“Dammit. All I wanted was someone to talk to.”

He feels the rush of power even as he feels his body go limp and the world go dark around him. It’s a strange mix between a sneeze and passing out. When the sensation passes things are weird. For one thing, he can’t feel his body. There isn’t the cold of his room or the rough drag of his scratchy wool sweater that is too small for him or even the gnawing in his belly. No, there is just the swelling feeling of his magic, a prickly energy across his skin, and this place.

This new place is nicer than his room. There is more space. There are nerdy decorations on the wall. There are no cracks anywhere or dents from fists or broken furniture. He hates seeing how much nicer this place is than his home. But he is more interested in why his magic brought him here. And in the soft green light everything around him seems bathed in. Tommy raises his hand, or maybe just the concept of a hand, and is faced with the scary truth. His whole body is green and transparent. Okay. That is a bit weirder than normal.

Welcome, Tommy Shepherd, to the world of astral projection. And Billy Kaplan? Meet the strange, glowing ghostly boy in your room.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

There is only so much they can do right now. And it's enough. It feels good enough.

"Write it down. I'll try and memorize it."

[wearingthestars]

He writes it out as clearly as he can, worried he'll fudge a number and ruin the whole thing. "You'll really call?"

[doubled_speed]

"If it works, I'll call. If I remember the number," Tommy promises. Because he can't be sure that he can. But he'll try, really hard.

[wearingthestars]

Billy tries not to look too eager. It might not work. For any number of reasons. But still, the idea makes him giddy, he can't help it.

"If it doesn't work we can still do this at least."

[doubled_speed]

Damn, Billy really is that supportive. Am Sorry Tommy spares a smile.

"I can try calling tomorrow. After school. Ours gets out around two-thirty. Early start. It is shit."

[wearingthestars]

"Two-thirty," Billy nods, running through his day in his head. He's still in class around then, but he can make his excuses, make sure he's somewhere he can take the call. "I'll still there, but I'll duck out," he promises, "I couldn't handle school any earlier than it all ready is, I dunno how you manage that."

[doubled_speed]

"When do you get out? I can probably delay a bit, try and call you then."

And it's hell. But his life is full of little personal hells so he allows for it. His life is literally only those. So he just... has to take it in stride.

[wearingthestars]

"Three, but- it's not too hard to get out of class. I'm not really on their radar as a trouble maker, if I ask to go they'll let me," he assures. Billy worries that too big a change to Tommy's schedule, too big a delay, might not be safe.

[doubled_speed]

No, it wouldn't. But his parents... might not notice? And Billy clearly doesn't need to get into trouble. Not for real. He's a good boy. Not like Tommy. Never like Tommy.

"You sure you're willing to try?"

[wearingthestars]

Billy doesn't know Tommy's exact line of thinking, but he can guess it a little from how worried he seems, nodding easily to reassure. "It won't be a problem." It's not the sort of thing he's likely to get in trouble for, and even if he does...it's not whatever sort of trouble Tommy's worried about. "Just make sure you don't get in trouble either, kay?"

[doubled_speed]

Tommy nods in agreement. He really knows he can't risk it. But he would, over Billy.

"Tomorrow then. I should get going."

[wearingthestars]

"Right- be safe, okay?" As safe as he can anyways. Better him leaving now then being startled away again.

"We'll talk tomorrow."

[doubled_speed]

Tommy nods. And, with another cascade of green sparks he disappears. And, once he awakens in his room he immediately digs out one of his notebooks for school it's a miracle his parents even buy him them and writes the number down on the cover.

The next day is a bundle of nerves for Tommy. He just is a mass of anxiety until school ends. And once it does he makes the slow walk to the nearby payphone by a convenience store. Hesitates over the money and the number written down in his notebook.

With a deep breath he puts in the money and punches in the number, listening to the line ringing. If nothing else, if he gets the voice mail, it might be Billy's voice. That might be all he needs.

[wearingthestars]

It's not too many rings he has to wait, though when Billy answers he touch out of breath. He may have run clear from the school to take the call, wanting to make sure no one was going to interrupt them. If this was even him.

"Hello?" There's a hopeful note to his voice, and definitely a familiar hint of nerves.

[doubled_speed]

"You're real," Tommy whispers, awe in his voice as he responds to the greeting. Maybe it's not the same Billy. But he hasn't made Billy up in his head. Which has to be the most scary thing to hear if this isn't a call you're expecting.

[wearingthestars]

There's a relieved and amused sort of laugh in return, and Billy nods, even though Tommy can't see.

"I'm real," he confirms, "This is...real. Wow. Hi! It's really you. You really called." That means they're part of the same universe. A few hours all that separates them.

[doubled_speed]

A few hours and a gulf that can't be crossed. Tommy holds the receiver to his ear, silent for a long moment. So what are they, then? Clearly Billy isn't another him. Why do they look like? Did Billy's family have another kid they decided they didn't want? Was it a hospital error? Mary never said exactly where he was born. What if Billy's mom had two kids and one got swapped with Mary Shepherd's kid? What if...

Stupid. It's all stupid thoughts.

"I can't talk long. The old lady across the street from my house watches for me to come home. To tell Mary. I just... you're real."

[wearingthestars]

The same thoughts are running through Billy's head, though any definitive answers involve records, or opening up about all this to their parents, which given how they met still seems next to impossible. Even in a world where superheroes are on the news pretty much every night, his parents aren't going to be thrilled to hear a strange boy magicked himself into Billy's room and he decided to befriend him. Not to mention the potential shared genetics.

"I can find you- I could take the ferry, or- I could figure it out-" Billy notes in a rush.

[doubled_speed]

Tommy shakes his head, forgetting for a moment that Billy can't see that.

"No. Don't... that's stupid. You do get that the Springfield area is, like, not that close right? Like, the trains won't even get you here."

There's no way they can meet, and that's for the best. What they have can be enough. It has to be enough. And, of course, there's both a Springfield Township and a Springfield. Granted the latter is tiny and didn't have a high school. The former, though? Five. A lot less than Billy would be used to as a New Yorker, but still a lot of people to search through for a Tommy.

[wearingthestars]

"It's not- it's- I can make it work. I can run. Or...hell- I can ask Mom to take me. We're so close in the grand scheme of things, how could we not try to see each other for real??"

He knows he's maybe pushing too hard too fast, but the words come spilling out before he can properly think over the best of course of action.

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, no, that won't work.

"We already see each other for real. Real enough. I got you a damn rabbit," Tommy says, unable to keep the frustrated annoyance out of his voice. Doesn't Billy get it? He's trying to keep the other guy safe.

And it's not like his parents will believe he randomly made a friend from New York.

[wearingthestars]

"But- nn-" Billy's mind finally seems to catch up with his mouth, cutting himself of with a frown that can practically be heard through the phone.

"I know...I just- if you ever change your mind..."

[doubled_speed]

"I'll think about it. I just... I gotta get moving," Tommy says after a moment. Sure, Billy's real, but right now, Tommy's uncomfortable.

"I may not be able to come by tonight. Don't wait up, okay?"

[wearingthestars]

Damn. Billy's sure now he's ruined everything, and he winces, nodding again despite everything.

"...Right. Yeah. That's fine. Whenever you want."

[doubled_speed]

"Tomorrow, if things cool down. Just, you know, hang out with Bunkins or whatever silly thing you've named it," Tommy says. But... he hesitates for a moment before speaking again.

"Thank you, Billy. For being real."